


Written In The Stars

by bazerella



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Astrology, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Introspection, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazerella/pseuds/bazerella
Summary: "Astrology is just a finger pointing at reality.”Introspection about the Palmetto State Foxes and their star signs.
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose, Seth Gordon/Allison Reynolds
Comments: 20
Kudos: 75





	1. Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I've been super into astrology lately and wanted to write some introspection about my favorite foxes <3 Each chapter will be about a different fox and their zodiac signs. Chapters correspond with the characters number in the books
> 
> The bolded lines are characteristics about each sign taken from the Co-Star astrology app. 
> 
> Some chapters are more intense than others, I'll add more specific warnings at the beginning of each chapter as necessary. 
> 
> Birthdays and signs were taken from the foxhole court [fandom wiki](https://foxhole-court.fandom.com/wiki/The_Foxhole_Court_Wikia)
> 
> Warnings for Dan's chapter: Neil's kidnapping is discussed along with Andrew 'choking the answers of out Kevin'.

**Danielle Wilds- April 29th**

**_When everything else seems to be falling apart, Taureans are an oasis of calm, a rock of dependability. Practical knowledge and experience is their modus operandi._ **

Neil was missing. Neil was missing and Kevin knew where he was and Andrew was angry and Renee was trying to stop Andrew from killing Kevin. Allison was yelling. Coach was yelling. Everyone was yelling. Except for Nicky. Nicky was crying. 

Eventually, once Kevin told the truth, they were able to pull Andrew away. Matt sat in the bus seat next to Kevin, shielding him from the rest of the team. Not that Dan thought Matt would be any match for a scorned Andrew. Dan had seen first hand Andrew take on those bigger than him. Dan loved Matt, but she wasn’t entirely sure her lover would be able to hold his own against Andrew if Neil was involved. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet there, Captain.” 

Dan turned in her seat to face Coach. Abby was driving the bus to the motel where they were keeping Neil. Coach had gotten the call and finding out that Neil was alive had settled the foxes. They went from violent to jittery. Everyone seemed to be on edge, unsure of what condition Neil would be in and what would happen next. 

“We know Neil is alive,” Dan said. Her voice was a bit rusty from disuse but she knew all her teammates could still hear her. “We’ll get to the motel and then we’ll figure out what to do from there. Right now, the best we can do is not assume the worst.” 

Dan was pretty sure she heard a scoff from the back of the bus. Who it was didn’t really concern her. She felt Matt’s hand squeeze her shoulder, and Kevin’s erratic breathing had calmed down a bit so she felt as though she had succeeded in her job as captain. 

They were going to see Neil, alive and well, and that’s really all that mattered in the end. 

  
  


**_Taurus are stubborn. They’re not going to do something they don’t want to do. They’re slow to change their minds because change threatens their sense of stability._ **

“Dan, I think you’ll have fun if you come.” 

Dan wasn’t too sure about that. After winning the championship The Foxes had grown closer for sure. There was less animosity between the upperclassmen and the monsters. Or well. The others on the team. Dan was trying very hard to stop referring to Andrew, Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin as monsters anymore, even in her head. 

There was less animosity sure, but Dan wasn’t stupid. She knew Andrew still didn’t like them. He merely tolerated them for Neil’s sake. Aaron for sure didn’t give a shit about anyone on the team, Nicky was just happy to have more people to talk to, and Kevin was indifferent toward the whole thing. Dan was sure he was just happy to have more people who took him up on his extra practices. 

Matt was currently trying to convince Dan that a weekend in Columbia would be fun. Dan wasn’t so sure. Firstly, they would be guests in Andrew, Aaron and Nicky’s home. It wouldn’t be like the cabin where they were all guests sharing a home for a week. Where everyone was sort of equal despite Allison and Neil being the ones who paid for it all. 

“Come on,” Matt pleaded. “I think you’ll regret it if you don’t come. And it’s not like we’re going to live at their house. We’re just staying over after going to the club. One night. It could be fun, we could christen every room in their house.” 

Dan snorted, “You want to risk losing your head by trying to have sex in Andrew’s room?” 

Matt smiled and Dan often couldn’t remember why she held off on being with him for so long. “I’d risk it for you. Then again I don’t want to think about what he and Neil get up to in that room so maybe we’ll skip that one. But every other room is totally valid.” 

“Even Nicky’s room?” Dan scrunched her nose. “You’ve heard him on Skype with Erik.” 

“Fine, fine, fine,” Matt conceded. “No christening the rooms. But I still think you should come. How can we team bond without our captain?” 

“I don’t think getting blackout drunk is an appropriate team bonding experience. But I’ll think about it,” Dan decided. 

She knew it would be best, if she went. If Allison could sleep under the same roof as Andrew after everything that happened, there was no reason for Dan to still hold childish grudges that after all they’d been through as a team. 

**_Taurus are very loyal, but they also expect loyalty back. They are only willing to invest in relationships that have a firm foundation. They don’t do casual._ **

“Look at our esteemed Captain, Renee. She’s getting all dolled up for the baby backliner.” 

Renee laughed but politely scolded Allison, “I’d hardly call Matt a baby. He’s the tallest one on the team.” 

“Well whatever,” Allison said. “Dan’s still smitten.” 

Dan didn’t bother correcting her. She  _ was _ sort of smitten. Matthew Boyd was something of an anomaly. He didn’t give Dan or the other girls on the team shit like the rest of them. He had been persistent in his affections for Dan for about a year, and last week Dan had finally given in. 

Given in wasn’t the right term. She wanted to go out with Matt from the very beginning, but she hadn’t wanted the first thing she did as the first female captain in NCAA Class-1 Exy to be dating her teammate. 

Matt was taking her out tonight to a nice restaurant in the downtown area. Allison had been teasing her about it since she started getting ready. 

“I think it’s nice,” Renee smiled. The whole friendship thing with Renee was new. Dan wasn’t about to forget their small rivalry in high school, but she had to admit it was nice having at least two people unwaveringly in her corner. Two, because she didn’t quite count Matt yet. She knew that she’d had Matt’s support since he joined the team, but there was part of Dan that wasn’t entirely ready to give him all of her trust. 

The restaurant was nice. Nicer than she was expecting, and Matt looked so proud of himself for making Dan smile. She had a good time. Matt was nice, and supportive, and seemed very passionate about everything he spoke about. He spoke kindly about his mother, which Dan files away for later, he’s open about his struggles with addiction, and that while he’d majoring in business administration he’s really hoping he'd be good enough to eventually go pro one day. 

Allison was right. Dan was smitten. Matt listened attentively as she spoke. Hanging on to her every last word. He asked the right questions, and never once interrupted her while she talked. 

It seemed like the kind of thing any decent person would do, but coming from Matt it felt different. It felt more genuine. 

At the end of the night, Matt helped Dan into his ridiculous big, blue truck. 

“Good date?” Matt asked when he got himself into the driver’s seat. 

“Against my best wishes,” Dan sighed. “Yes, Matthew. I had a very good date.”

Matt’s grin took up his entire face and then Dan couldn’t help herself. She leaned over the center console and cupped his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. Matt kissed her back with just as much passion as he had in his words. 

  
Dan pulled away first and smirked at Matt trying to catch his breath.

“I wasn’t going to do that tonight,” Matt admitted. “I wasn’t trying to be a gentleman.” 

“Fuck being a gentleman,” Dan replied. “But if we do this, it’s all or nothing. And don’t expect any special treatment on the court. I’m still your captain at the end of the day.” 

“Of course,” Matt seriously. “I don’t want special treatment. I just want you.” 

Dan analyzes Matt one last time before pulling him in for another kiss. This one is just as explosive as the last. Dan thinks that maybe this could work out. Dan knows she has a rough road ahead of her, stipulation of being a Fox, but maybe it’ll all be a little easier with Matt backing her up. 


	2. Kevin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pisces are always looking to the future and they always have hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: references to edgar allen,

**Kevin Day- February 22nd**

**_Describing a Pisces’ personality can be difficult because Pisces tend to evade distinction. Their behavior changes significantly based on who they’re around._ **

Kevin Day had mastered the art of adapting. When he was a Raven, he was good at it. He was good at only caring about exy, he was good at being serious. He was good at the focus he needed to make sure he was good but not the best. He could pretend that he didn’t know that he was in a really fucked up situation because it was easier. If he thought too much about his own treatment, how he saw some of the others were treated, Kevin wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. So he didn’t. He was exactly who he was supposed to be when he was in The Nest. 

Coming to Palmetto was a culture shock. But Kevin knew how to adapt. He was still focused, but there was a bit of a weight lifted off his shoulder. Sometimes he would talk about things that weren’t about exy just to see if anyone would call him out on it. When he was around Dan or Matt he talked about nothing. Something funny that happened in class, something cool he saw on the television. They allowed him to talk freely about things that didn’t really matter, but they listened like Kevin was telling them the secrets of life. 

Kevin still had to focus on exy. His life literally depended on it. But that was what Neil was for. Neil had the same burdens so Kevin clung to him like a lifeline. They were two peas in a pod, fighting for their lives but doing the thing they loved. In turn, that included Andrew. Kevin was unapologetically himself around Andrew and Neil. He could be afraid when he knew Andrew would always have his back. He could push himself to his limits knowing that Neil was right behind him and that Andrew was paying enough attention to know when they both needed a break. 

Nicky and Aaron allowed Kevin to let loose. Out on the dance floor it was just the three of them. There were others, technically, who would try to break into their little dance triangle but Kevin paid them no attention. The dance floor at Eden’s was for forgetting. It was for pretending like he wasn’t Kevin Day, exy prodigy. He was just Kevin Day, normal twenty two year old who was having fun at a club with his friends. 

Sometimes Renee stared at Kevin like she was trying to figure out which face he was wearing that day. Kevin never let her see the real one. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, after all, she had seen him at his worst, leaning over Jean, broken and bloody, begging some higher power to make sure his friend would be okay. Renee had seen the broken side of Kevin and Kevin wasn’t sure he wanted her to see anymore. Renee had this way of making people show their truest selves and Kevin didn’t know who that was yet, but when he figured it out, he wanted to be the first one to see it, not Renee. 

Allison was one of the more difficult foxes. Kevin never liked Seth, but Kevin knew Allison didn’t feel the same way. Kevin and Allison had both experienced the loss of someone who at one point they trusted with their whole lives, and while both were shitty people (one significantly more than the other) it didn’t erase the grief they felt. Kevin found that Allison was the only one he didn’t have to pretend in front of. Neil and Andrew would have his head if they knew he was grieving Riko, but Allison was more understanding which was surprising because Riko was the reason Seth wasn’t here anymore. Yet Allison didn’t let that deter her from comforting Kevin whenever he needed it. 

Kevin was a master of being exactly who he needed to be in any given situation. He had his game face, his media face, his school face, his club face. They were all different faces that Kevin wore, but one day he thought all these faces would morph into one, and then he could just  _ be _ . 

**_Pisces have an elusive charm that can be alluring to some and frustrating to others._ **

Kevin could tell his teammates were getting frustrated with him. But they didn’t understand. He needed to win. The game needed to be perfect. There was a chance that Kevin would literally die if they did not win. At least when he was with The Foxes they sort of knew about the deal with the Moriyama’s so despite their annoyances with Kevin, they always pulled through in the end and played to the best of their ability. 

Texas was different. Houston was a good team, even better now that Kevin was with them but Kevin knew they could do better. Kevin knew  _ he  _ could do better. 

After a rough practice, Kevin went home to his lonely apartment and pretended he knew how to live on his own before giving in and calling Neil. 

“Josten’s phone.”  _ Andrew.  _

“Andrew,” Kevin said. “Where’s Neil?” 

He heard some shuffling on the line before Andrew spoke, “Neil’s busy.” 

“Doing what?” Kevin frowned. 

“What do you want, Day?” Andrew asked, ignoring Kevin’s curiosity. 

Kevin shrugged even though he knew Andrew couldn’t see him. “I wanted to talk to Neil about strategy, the team isn’t getting the drills I was explaining.” 

“So you wanted to talk to someone who would understand.” 

Andrew didn’t phrase it as a question. He stated it like it was so simple and Kevin realized just how predictable he could be. “Yes.” 

“I’ve known you long enough to know that this isn’t about strategy, Day. It is okay if you don’t like your new team.” 

Kevin was silent for a while. Of course Andrew would see right through him. “They’re not The Foxes,” Kevin admitted. 

“No, they are not,” Andrew agreed. “They are going to find you intolerable even on your good days but it does not matter. Do you understand? Because they will never be on your level and it is not your responsibility to try and get them there. In a year, I will graduate and then you’ll have to worry more about how you’re going to survive the press when my team tears your team to shreds.” 

Kevin couldn’t help but laugh. Andrew only cared about exy when it meant he got to rub his own win in Andrew’s face. “You’re right.” 

“I know I am,” Andrew said. “You are still despicable, Kevin Day, but you are a passionate player and eventually your team will realize that.” 

“Thank you, Andrew.” Kevin felt sort of choked up and he couldn’t quite figure out why. 

“Don’t thank me,” Andrew said roughly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Neil is in the process of giving me a blow job and I would very much like to finish.” 

Andrew hung up before Kevin could say anything else. 

**_Pisces are always looking to the future and they always have hope._ **

Kevin couldn’t believe he was here. Kevin Day officially had a bachelors degree in history, and was signed to a professional exy team. Three years ago he would not have considered this a possibility. After Riko he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to play again, but David Wymack and The Foxes had given him a second chance. 

Kevin didn’t even need to be forced into any of the photos Nicky demanded he take. Kevin  _ wanted _ to remember this. He wanted the photo of him and Matt with their arms over each other's shoulder, holding their diplomas up in the air. He wanted the photo of him squished in between Neil and Andrew even if he was the only one smiling. He wanted the OG Monster’s picture of his little family, broken but together. He wanted the photo of him and Wymack where any outsider could see the similarities between the two, and how obvious it was that they were related. 

Despite the world’s best attempts, Kevin Day had made it. Kevin Day had jumped over every fucked up hurdle that was put in his path. Kevin Day was an educated man. He was a professional exy player. He was a friend, a son, a person. 

Coach found him at the court, predictably. Kevin wasn’t in his gear; he was just standing at the very center looking at the empty seats. He never would have thought this particular court would feel so much like home. 

“I’m proud of you,” Coach said unprompted. 

“Careeful,” Kevin said. “You’re starting to sound like a dad.” 

Coach nudged him in the shoulder making him falter in his stance. “I take it back,” Coach said. “I’m not proud of you. You’re terrible.” 

Kevin shook his head. “You’re proud of me. You’re going to watch all my pro games and have a jersey with my name on it. You’re going to call me after each game just to tell me you watched even though I’ll already know you did.” 

Coach looked at Kevin. Kevin looked back. They stared until Kevin’s vision warped and he no longer saw Coach. He saw his dad. He saw the man who took him in without question. The man who didn’t run when he found out the truth about their relationship. 

“I’m proud of you,” his dad agreed. “But you’re insane if you think I’ll ever be caught dead in a Houston Sirens jersey.” 

“A hat then,” Kevin suggested. “It’ll go with your whole dad look. Baseball hat and white Nike’s.” 

Coach looked affronted, “There’s nothing wrong with my shoes.” 

“Sure,” Kevin shrugged. 

Coach rolled his eyes. “Come on, we have to go pretend like we don’t know Abby ordered from the Italian deli and compliment her ‘cooking’ skills.” 

Kevin took one last look at the court before following his dad out. This would not be the last time Kevin saw this specific court but leaving still left a lump in his throat. He was a different person than he was the first time he stepped through the plexiglass. 

The future was calling Kevin’s name, and for once in his life he could see it clearly. Happiness was coming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love my pisces queen<3


	3. Andrew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scorpio personality is a profound chasm of infinite complexity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: discussion of andrew off his meds in the first story, second story involves andrew going to the Spear's house but Drake is not directly mentioned,

**Andrew Minyard- November 4th**

**_The Scorpio personality is a profound chasm of infinite complexity._ **

One one hand, Andrew was pleased to be off the meds. Everything was a lot less loud and it made it a bit easier to stay in his head. On the other hand, being off the meds had done nothing to dull Neil Josten. In fact, it was like he was worse. More intense than before. 

Andrew had gotten the rundown of what had gone on while he was away from Nicky and Andrew wasn’t surprised by anything he had been told. Andrew knew Neil was a problem since the first moment he saw him and it appeared as though Andrew was going to have his work cut out for him. 

Besides Neil and his infinite issues, Andrew found other side effects of coming off the meds that didn’t quite sit well with him. 

For one, it was a lot more difficult to show his indifference. Sure, Andrew quickly mastered the dull, bored expression he constantly wore, but now his thoughts weren’t muddled by the haze of the drugs. 

So he could stare blank faced, sure, but his mind still yelled at him to  _ do something. _ It was harder to pretend like he didn’t want to be near Neil. It was harder to pretend like he didn’t know about Katelyn. It was harder to pretend, full stop. 

Andrew knew what was said about him when he was on the meds. He knew everyone would have more to say about him now. He didn’t exactly  _ care _ about what The Foxes thought of him. Sometimes, he did wish that someone would just grow up and fucking ask him, though. Ask him how he was feeling about being forced into medication for protecting his family. Ask him how he felt now that all the bright colors have been ripped away from him. But there was also something he was fine with, with already being perceived. 

His reputation kept most people away from him and Andrew often took solace in being alone. 

Andrew looked down at the ground from his spot on the roof and was hit by a wave of nausea. Hmm. At least he knew he could still feel. 

Andrew’s mind was a battleground. One half was desperately trying to claw its way out and scream to the world  _ Hey. I’m here and I’m fucked up and why doesn’t anyone care?  _ While the other part pushed and fought for his mask to stay in place. It whispered  _ this is better. This is safer.  _

Andrew had never been one of those people who wanted to “find himself”. But he thought perhaps his mind would be more settled, if there was at least one other person besides himself who could make sense of Andrew’s mind. 

He never anticipated it would be Neil Josten, but really, he should’ve seen that one coming. 

**_There’s something very lonely about Scorpios. They have a ruthless view of the world. Eat or be eaten._ **

Andrew sat in the backseat of his caseworkers government owned vehicle. The leather seats were hot and he could feel in through the fabric of his worn and faded jeans. Andrew was being placed in a new home today. His last foster home was shit and he didn’t really have high hopes for this new one. 

It was the same shit every time. 

Some foster parents liked to think they were personal, public servants of God. As though them deciding to take on some troubled youth would secure them a pretty spot up in Heaven. Andrew thought this was amusing. They believed that all they had to do was give a child a roof over their head and suddenly all the other bad crap they did in their lives became obsolete. 

Give a child a roof, but make them beg for food. Make them cower at every yell and hand slammed on the table. Give them a roof, but don’t let them get comfortable. Make them know that they should be on their hands and knees thanking you for this kind deed that they have done. 

Make them know that they could take it away in an instant. Remind them that four enclosed walls never equals safety. 

The new house was small. It was two floors and there was a white picket fence surrounding it. A tire swing hung from a thick tree in the front yard. The house looked like perfection, so Andrew was immediately on guard. 

Andrew knew better now. The happier the family, the nice the house, the stricter the rules were and more likely he was to get beaten within the first night. Andrew had exactly one bag that held all his belongings and he unconsciously gripped it tighter as his caseworker opened the door of the car. 

“Come on, let’s meet your new family.” 

These people would not be his family, he knew that. Andrew wasn’t sure when the other shoe would drop. He couldn’t figure out if this home would be one where he had to tiptoe around to not cause a disturbance or one where he would have to use his free time to hoard snacks that wouldn’t make a noise when he opened them in the middle of the night. 

Two figures stood at the door of the house. The woman was small with a round, kind face. She looked exceptionally happy to see Andrew and Andrew didn’t buy it for a second. But maybe...No. This was not his family. 

If Andrew began to hope he would just get hurt, and it would be worse than the usual physical damage he received in foster homes. The man was whatever in Andrew’s opinion. There was nothing interesting about his form. He was big, Andrew took note of, but he was also sort of frail looking. He seemed perfectly content to sit back and let his wife play the world's best host. 

Andrew being placed in a home where the main male figure took absolutely no interest in him, well, Andrew wasn’t going to complain. He wasn’t going to lose his edge, he would still stay weary, but maybe this home would end up being one of the ones he looked back at as tolerable. 

The woman stepped down the stairs of the house and met Andrew halfway on the grass. She knelt down and pulled him into a crushing hug that Andrew did not reciprocate but did not immediately push her off either. 

“Welcome to our home, Andrew!” The woman said cheerily. “My name is Cass, and I think you’re going to love it here!” 

**_Love means partially relinquishing some of their self-control and this is especially hard for a Scorpio._ **

Andrew was fuming. It had been a while since he felt this sort of rage before but it felt like coming home. It felt like there had been something missing and now there was this bone deep itch inside of Andrew to fight. 

He slammed the door open to his apartment where Neil was waiting for him and made a mess of his exy bag when he threw it against the wall. 

Neil poked his head out of the kitchen at the sudden noise. Normally, Neil would ease Andrew’s fury. But since Neil was the reason he was so pissed off, seeing Neil just infuriated him further. 

“You better have a good explanation for this one,” Andrew huffed as he made his way past Neil, deciding that he would not be giving Neil a kiss hello like he normally did. 

“You’ll need to be more specific,” Neil said coyly in that way he did that let Andrew know that Neil knew exactly what he was referring to but wanted Andrew to be the one to say it. 

“You know what you did,” Andrew challenged. He would not give Neil the satisfaction. 

Neil moved himself further into Andrew’s space. He plopped himself on their kitchen counter, which annoyed Andrew because everytime Neil did that, the cats thought it meant they were also allowed on the counter. Every time Andrew would catch one of the cats and point this out to Neil, Neil would just shrug and say that the cats shouldn’t be confined to the floor. Andrew though that was stupid as fuck and if he found cat hair in his toaster one more time he was going to lose it. 

“I’ve done a lot of things,” Neil deflected. “Give me a hint?” 

“No,” Andrew dismissed as he worked his way through the freezer to find the specific tub of ice cream he was looking for. 

“Alright. I guess I’ll just have to use my great detective skills then,” Neil said with a smirk. 

Andrew ignored him and made his way to the living room. He got his favorite blanket and wrapped himself up, turned on the television and started on his snack. Neil followed him and sat perched on the opposite arm of the couch. 

“Let’s see,” Neil started. “No hello kiss which means you must be awfully upset with me right now.”

Upset didn’t even begin to cover the range of Andrew’s emotions right now. 

Neil continued, “I know after practice you were supposed to meet with management. Did you actually go to that meeting or did you skip it?” 

“Oh, I went to the meeting alright,” Andrew said. 

“Ah,” Neil smiled. “Then that’s why you’re all pissy.” 

Andrew couldn’t believe Neil was being this casual. Andrew had gone into that meeting expecting to finally be fired for his bad attitude or be told that his contract was coming to an end and that they were going to trade him. Instead, his management team sat him down and told him that their current starting striker was retiring, and that they were going to be getting a transfer. More specifically, Neil Josten was going to be transferred to Andrew’s team in Colorado. 

“You understand your team just came off a championship win, correct?” Andrew asked. “Transferring from Houston to Denver is a dumb move.” 

“Houston doesn’t have you.”

And  _ fuck. Fuck.  _ Andrew knew Neil was going to say some dumb shit like that. It was the reason he was so pissed off to begin with. 

“That’s stupid,” Andrew argued. 

“Highly disagree,” Neil said easily. “I’ve enjoyed Houston. I played for three years. Three years of being away from you. The opportunity rose to change that and I wasn’t going to let it pass me by.” 

Andrew determinedly stared at his spoon and did not reply to Neil. 

“Andrew,” Neil sighed. “If you don’t want me to be on your team tell me. Tell me you wouldn’t like me to be here in this apartment with you instead of miles away and I’ll back out of the contract. It hasn’t been signed yet.” 

Now Andrew sighed, because he couldn’t tell Neil that. One year of being in Denver while Neil finished at Palmetto and then three years of Neil in Houston. Of course, Andrew wanted Neil to be here but it was still a lot. Neil constantly and unapologetically always put Andrew first. Andrew was his first choice, even over exy, and Neil could literally be killed if exy wasn’t his priority. 

It was a lot for Andrew to deal with. Andrew had never been someone’s first choice before and yet here was Neil who had the most to lose by prioritizing Andrew and he did it anyway, without question. 

“I hate you,” Andrew said. 

“I love you, too.” Neil scooted over and inserted himself in Andrew’s blanket cocoon. “Do you think it’ll be confusing to have two people on the team with the same last name on their jerseys?” 

Andrew scoffed, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. And not that I believe in marriage, but if I did, I would keep my last name.” 

“So would I,” Neil said. “So Minyard-Josten or Josten-Minyard?” 

Andrew didn’t respond. Thinking about marrying Neil some day, was not as uncommon a thought as one might expect for Andrew. Andrew knew it was bound to happen at some point. 

“Hmm,” Neil said when Andrew didn’t answer. He tucked the part of the blanket that had fallen off of Andrew’s shoulder back in place. “Minyard-Josten sounds better don’t you think?” 

Andrew huffed. Just like he thought, Neil couldn’t help but always put Andrew first. It was difficult to comprehend at times, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> andrews chapter is the longest so far. is this blatant favoritism? possibly but it's fine.


	4. Matt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leos are bold, warm, and loving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: vague references to drug usage,

**Matthew Boyd- August 5th**

**_Leos are bold, warm, and loving._ **

Ever since Matt was a child his mother told him he had wide eyes. That he had eyes that tried to consume the whole world at one time. Matt was never bothered by the comment. There was so much to see and do! How could Matt not want to consume it all? 

Even when he sat on the floor of his father’s apartment, drugs coursing through his system all he could think about is how much he loved his dad, and that he hoped that this was enough to make his dad happy. 

Matt was sitting in his dorm room when his roommate walked in with a slam of the door. 

“All good?” Matt asked as Seth threw his backpack on the ground. 

“Allison’s pissed at me.” 

“What’d you do?” 

Seth paused in his rifling through their fridge. “What makes you assume  _ I _ did something?” 

Matt shrugged and smiled. “Because you’re a piece of shit.” 

Matt loved riling up Seth. It was an easy and very pleasurable pastime. Why did Matt know something happened with Allison? Seth only hung out with Matt when Allison wouldn’t tolerate him and here he was. 

“Fuck you, Boyd.” 

Seth threw a plastic water bottle at Matt before disappearing into their actual bedroom. Matt laughed again. It was all in good fun. Matt knew that Seth was under a lot of stress, though he would never admit it. Seth would be the last of the original line up of The Foxes next year. He would be the only fifth year senior, the only one eligible to be recruited, and Seth was convinced no one would ever scout a fox. Matt had higher hopes than that for his roommate. 

In a few minutes Matt would barge into the room and make Seth hang out with him, try to keep him distracted for Allison’s sake, the team's sake, and his own sake. Try to keep him away from using and in turn help his own self from doing the same thing. 

Matt was loving, and because of this he understood love. He understood love and how it could get warped and expressed in ways that most people couldn’t understand. So yes, Matt understood what was happening when Andrew took it upon himself to talk to his mother and get him clean. He wasn’t doing it because he cared about whether or not Matt was clean, he was doing it to protect Aaron. Aaron was a recovering addict. Matt was a current addict. Matt having drugs around Aaron was risky. It wasn’t rocket science. Dan was less understanding, but that was okay. Matt knew it was all based on love. 

Dan was something new. Matt’s persistence had worn off and Dan was finally giving him a chance. She had rules, which Matt was happy to oblige. During practice, she was his captain. Nothing more, nothing less. He fell in line with everyone else. On occasion, Matt  _ did _ run into some of the players who were being rude a little harder than necessary but hey, it’s exy. It can get violent. 

Meeting Neil Josten was a shock to Matt. There was this boy who seemed so lost and confused in the world and all Matt wanted to do was protect him...And then Matt found out that said boy could actually handle multiple different weapons though the one he was most proficient with was his mouth. Neil had snark, and loyalty that Matt had never seen before. It didn’t stop his need to protect one bit. If anything it made him want to be there for Neil even more. 

At the cabin when Neil started talking in English for Matt’s sake while Kevin tried his very best to keep them in French, Matt’s heart went soft. After everything that had happened, Neil was trying to make good on his promise to stop lying. 

Matt wasn’t sure what would happen next, but his team was finally coming together and Matt loved them all, even the scarier ones. 

**_Leos love to be the center of attention, but are also secretly self-loathing. All their charm is a defense mechanism that is designed to compensate for their innate insecurity._ **

Matt was okay. Neil had just graduated and the OG Foxes were taking a trip together for the first time in years. Aaron and Andrew were there, being friends, and Kevin was showing Dan pictures of his last vacation with Abby and Wymack. Allison and Renee were...together? Possibly. He wasn’t sure exactly. 

Matt was enjoying his time with The Foxes. He was enjoying hearing all about what they were doing, what they were planning on doing. Neil was signing with the same team as Kevin, which was sure to be a disaster. Matt could tell Neil was sad to not be with Andrew but was happy to be playing with Kevin again. Or at least being able to annoy Kevin is a much closer proximity again. 

Matt sat at the edge of the gathering which was unusual. Where normally he would be talking to everyone and hyping his friends up, he was overwhelmed with their successes. He felt as though his own life was lacking. He was playing professionally, but his team was nowhere as good as Kevin or Andrew’s. He had no championships to brag about. He and Dan were going strong but there was no development in terms of marriage like Aaron and Katelyn. He and Dan had been engaged since his own graduation, but they’ve yet to actually tie the knot. 

“I’ve barely talked to you today.” Neil jumped on the counter next to where Matt was standing in the kitchen, bringing them to the same height. 

“You’ve been busy,” Matt said happily. He and his friends were all together. He should be participating instead of sulking. “You’re freshly signed and get to torment Kevin again! Tell me about it.” 

Neil laughed good heartedly but turned serious as he addressed Matt. “I’ve talked about it enough. Tell me what’s going on with you?” 

Matt faltered. “Nothing as exciting as anything you have going on, trust me.” 

Matt was usually good at deflecting and changing the subject. As his friend's biggest hype man he was always able to keep them talking about themselves instead of about himself. Matt didn’t seem to have much luck this time around with Neil. 

“You seem, not your usual self,” Neil said almost hesitantly. Matt had never known Neil to be careful with his words unless it was Andrew who he was speaking to so he knew this was serious. “You know you can tell me anything right? I’m usually not a people person, unless it's The Foxes. Especially if it’s The Foxes.” 

Matt sighed. “You’re all doing amazing things, you know? You, Kevin, and Andrew are all playing professionally and are on championship teams. Allison’s team went really far this past year too, Renee is out saving the world. Aaron is starting a family. Nicky is traveling and getting to have all these really cool experiences. Dan is...well, you know Dan. She’s changing lives too. She’s helping these kids and giving them a chance early on so that they don’t have to be Foxes. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a Fox but you know, if you have the opportunity to have a better life than what most of us have been dealt you should take it. And I’m just here, you know? My team barely made it, there’s no wedding in my future...I just feel like I’m not doing enough.” 

Matt hadn’t realized how much he had been holding in until he was done speaking. He felt slightly uncomfortable at venting all his issues to Neil. He wasn’t supposed to be the venter. He was supposed to be the one that other people vented to. 

Neil was silent for a while and it made Matt nervous. He didn’t want Neil to see him as this person who clearly didn’t have their shit together. 

“I think you don’t give yourself enough credit,” Neil said finally. “You don’t need to be saving the world or winning trophies.” 

Easy for Neil to say, Matt thought. Neil actually  _ won  _ trophies. 

“The reason that most of us are happy to share these life events are because of you,” Neil continued. “Andrew could give two shits about exy or winning. He indulges me with that sort of talk. But I know if I call you at 2:00am after a night practice about a new move I mastered, you’ll be happy for me.” 

“Neil, that move shouldn’t be humanly possible,” Matt interrupted. “Obviously I was hype about you defying the laws of gravity.” 

“That’s what I mean,” Neil said. “You’re our number one supporter. There’s a lot of people who don’t have friends who love them unconditionally. You don’t need to compare your own successes with anyone else's. Success doesn’t really matter if you have no one to share it with. You could text in the group that you mastered a new soup recipe and everyone would be ecstatic for you. Except for Andrew, who has something against soup but you get my point.” 

“Andrew doesn’t like soup?” 

“I don’t know, something about broth being weird?” Neil shrugged. “But anyway. The point is, just because everyone else’s successes seem bigger, that doesn’t mean your own successes aren’t important. I mean, hey, Dan’s still putting up with you after all these years. I’d count that as a success.” 

Matt laughed and it felt like the first genuine reaction he's had all night. “You’re such a shithead. Of course Dan and I are still going strong. We’re in love. You might know a little bit about that, huh?” 

Neil looked sheepish for a moment and Matt thought he was going to deny how strong he and Andrew were going but instead he just smiled and looked out toward the living room where Andrew was sitting having a staring contest with Aaron. “Yeah,” Neil agreed. “I suppose I do know a little bit about that.” 

“I’m happy for you,” Matt said seriously. 

“I’m happy for you too,” Neil replied. He patted Matt on the shoulder and then hopped off the counter walking in a direct line toward Andrew. Andrew never once broke his gaze from Aaron. Andrew was in it to win it and Matt could respect that. 

Matt sighed and thought about his life. Neil was right. He had a beautiful woman who loved him, a career playing the game he loved, and he had friends who actually made an effort to see one another. 

But most importantly, he was happy. He knew there would be days when it all felt like it wasn’t enough, but he was lucky enough to have people who reminded him that it was. 

**_As friends, Leos are attentive, loyal, and generous. They always feel the need to give more than they receive. As one of the most playful and luxury-loving signs, they treat you the way they treat themselves, and will spontaneously do nice things for you just because they feel like it._ **

Matt walked into the lounge, whistling to himself, before practice and dropped a bag of extra toasted Cheez Its on Renee’s lap. 

“What’s this?” Renee asked kindly. 

Matt shrugged. “You were talking about how you couldn’t find them at the store the other day. I was getting gas in the truck and went inside and saw them.” 

“That was nice of you,” Renee smiled at him as she opened the bag. She held it out to Matt as he sat down next to her but Matt shook his head. He had gotten them for Renee, not for himself. 

Coach came into the room last, thundering footsteps giving everyone a slight warning that it was time to get into business mode. They were doing well this year, and without the pressure of ensuring Neil’s survival, The Foxes were hopeful for this season. 

Matt really wanted another win. It was the girl’s last years and he thought they deserved it. Allison was planning on going pro and if The Foxes had a good season then she’d be more likely to end up on a good team. Renee was going off to the Peace Corps and Matt wanted to give her something to remember The Foxes by. 

And Dan. Well, Matt thought Dan deserved the world. He wanted to give her a win that wasn’t tainted by the mafia. 

So Matt pushed himself a little harder in practice. Against his typical instincts he listened to what Kevin had to say on the court and on occasion even joined him for night practices when Andrew and Neil were otherwise occupied with each other. He tried to share what he learned with Nicky and Aaron, though Nicky was the only one who was receptive to what he had to say. 

After practice Matt had two classes he had to sit through. He didn’t really pay attention in either class. He was going over drills in his head. At the end of the day Matt found himself in his own dorm room, pacing. He didn’t go to night practice if Neil and Andrew were going. It was some unspoken thing that he never really questioned. But Matt didn’t feel like he gave his all this morning and he wanted to redeem himself. So he waited for Kevin to text him but he never did. 

“You’re creating a draft,” Aaron said without looking up from his textbook. 

Nicky looked up from his spot on the couch to frown at Matt. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Matt dismissed easily. “I think I’m gonna head to Dan’s room.” 

Aaron didn’t comment but Nicky sent him a “Have fun!” paired with a wink. 

Dan opened the door to the girls dorm and leaned on the frame. “Hey stranger, you come here often?” 

Matt laughed and leaned down to give her a quick hello kiss on the lips. 

“Hi Matt,” Allison sang in the background, her voice dripping in a teasing manner. Matt was used to it. 

“Hi Allison,” He replied in the exact same voice. 

Dan laughed and dragged Matt into the bedroom leaving Allison and Renee in the common room. Matt closed the door with his foot and then joined Dan on her bed. 

“What’s the occasion?” Dan asked. 

“I need an occasion to see you?”

“No,” Dan agreed. “But usually you text beforehand. So I know this was spontaneous and that you weren’t planning on coming over.”

Ah. Being known. 

“I wasn’t sure if Kevin was going to text for night practice. I guess Andrew and Neil ended up going though.” 

“Oh so I'm the second choice!” Dan fake being hurt. Before Matt could interrupt she continued, “That’s kind of crazy to think about. Could you imagine yourself this time last year waiting on a text from Kevin Day?” 

“No, I couldn’t. Unless that text was a meeting spot to fight.” 

Dan laughed and then sat up against the headboard of the bed. Matt took it as the invitation it was and rested his head on her lap. 

“I just want to make sure we win this year,” Matt admitted. 

Dan hummed. “I’m not worried.” 

“You’re not?” 

“No. We could barely stand to look at the others this time last year. Now, we eat dinner together in the dining hall. We go to practice together. Hell, I asked Aaron for his opinion on something the other day. We’re a real team now. It doesn’t matter how many night practices you force yourself to go to. In the end, skill means nothing if we can’t communicate on the court.” 

Matt sat up so he could look Dan in the eye. “I finally understand why you’re captain.” 

“Finally!?” Dan shrieked. “You’re going to pay for that one.” 

Matt was then attacked with various pillows. He would never get tired of this. Of Dan. Of having someone who so easily settled him when it felt like his brain was wired. 

“Alright, alright, I’m waving the white flag!” Matt laughed as he took one vicious hit to the head. 

Dan settled down and a comforting silence surrounded the two. 

“I know you think you need to try harder, and that you want this win for those of us graduating at the end of the year,” Dan said. “But you shouldn’t do it just for us. You deserve this win also. We all do.” 

Matt didn't reply because he didn’t think he needed to. He thought that his actions would speak better about how much Dan meant to him, and how much he didn’t realize he needed to hear those words until Dan spoke them. 

The rest of the night was just for the two of them. Even when Allison banged on the door and said their “time for canoodling” was done, Matt just held on to Dan, and thought of all the ways he wished he could give her the world, and hoped that in the end, whatever he could manage would be enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leo king<3 
> 
> did i mostly project myself onto matt because i am also a leo? yes.


	5. Aaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scorpios place the highest value on what’s real. They don’t have time for fake. They are the masters of separating fact from fiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no warnings apply for aaron's chapter!

**Aaron Minyard- November 4th**

**_Scorpios are attracted to what’s beyond the surface. They want to be with someone who pushes their boundaries, who brings out their most intense desires and most profound fears._ **

“You’re wrong.” 

Aaron stared at his lab partner. She was pretty, in the way that Aaron was sure had random students doing doubletakes, but the way she carried herself was almost reserved. As though she knew she was pretty but preferred not to make a big deal about it. 

Aaron had been working with her for most of the semester in their Intro to Biology class. Typically they did the labs in silence. Aaron did part A and B, she did part C and D and then they swapped toward the end. It was a good system. Aaron didn’t have to talk more than he wanted to, and didn’t have to worry about checking over her work because she was actually very smart.

Aaron wasn’t even entirely sure of her name to be quite honest. He stopped letting himself get familiar with girls after the third one Andrew had chased away. It wasn’t worth it. He sort of recognized her as though he had seen her before but then again they had this class every Tuesday and Thursday so it was probably just a result of that. 

“What?” Aaron asked dumbly. 

She sighed and pushed a piece of her curly auburn hair behind her ear. “You put that the independent variable changes as a result of the dependent variable. It’s the opposite. The dependent variable changes as a result of the independent.” 

“Oh,” Aaron said. “My bad. Sorry.” 

“Yeah, okay.” She went back to copying Aaron’s answers from the first two parts onto her own paper. Aaron watched as she corrected the answer on his own paper. Her handwriting was not neat like he expected. It was sort of scratchy looking and Aaron wasn’t entirely convinced he’d be able to read it when he studied later on. 

Aaron let out a laugh. 

She paused her writing. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Aaron said quickly. She frowned at him and Aaron did not like the look at that at all. “I just...you’re handwriting sort of sucks. It doesn’t fit you.” Aaron gestured vaguely to her. 

“Oh my god,” She covered her mouth with her hand to try and muffle a laugh. “We’ve been in this class for two months and the first thing you say to me is an insult to my handwriting.” 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron laughed as well. “You just seem very put together? It wasn’t what I expected.” 

“Well I’m so sorry I don’t write in a Victorian script,” She teased. “Besides, haven’t you ever learned to not judge a book by it’s cover?” 

Aaron shrugged. “I’m Aaron, by the way.” 

“I know,” She furrowed her brow. “We’re lab partners. I know your name.” 

Aaron bit his lip. 

She stared at him in shock. “Oh my god, you don’t know my name.” 

Aaron went to peak at her paper but she had fast reflexes and quickly covered it up. “Wow,” She said. “We sit next to each other twice a week and you don’t know my name. See if I cheer for you next exy game.” 

“You’re a Vixen?” Aaron asked. Maybe that could explain why Aaron thought he recognized her outside of the classroom. 

“I am,” She confirmed. “And I just decided that until you figure out my name, we will absolutely not be cheering for you #5.” 

Aaron felt  _ something. _ It wasn't the same feeling he had previously when he had crushes on girls. This was more than that. So far Nameless Lab Partner had defied every one of Aaron’s expectations, and she knew who he was. He wasn’t at all disturbed by the imbalance of information. If anything it made him want to know more. 

Wanting was dangerous, though. Pursuing someone meant that this person was on Andrew’s radar and Aaron didn’t know if it would be worth it. He never knew how long his relationships would last, so how could he know who was worth fighting for and who wasn’t? 

He took another look at his lab partner. She was busying herself copying answers and her mouth was crooked in concentration. Aaron almost hoped he had another answer wrong so she would talk to him again. 

“Give me a hint?” Aaron asked. 

“What?” 

“Your name,” Aaron clarified. “What letter does it start with?” 

She narrowed her eyes and seemed to assess Aaron, whether it was about his intentions or something else, Aaron wasn’t sure. Whatever she found though seemed to satisfy her. 

“No,” She said easily. “Figure it out yourself. You have until the game on Saturday.” 

“And if I get it right?” Aaron was at the edge of his seat. 

She hummed. “I’ll buy you dinner.” 

“Dinner?” Aaron questioned.

“Dinner,” She agreed. 

They didn’t speak the rest of class. She left first, and as Aaron collected his things he noticed a purple planner with doodles on the cover left behind. He looked around but no one seemed to be paying any attention to him. He picked up the journal and flipped through the pages. 

Aaron flipped toward the front where the cover page read “This planner belongs to” followed by a line.

And there it was. In absolutely horrendous handwriting. 

_ This planner belongs to  _ _ Katelyn. _ __

_ Katelyn. _

Aaron smiled and repeated the name over and over in his head. He put the planner in his own bag and then headed toward the dorms. He didn’t bother saying hello to anyone and ignored his brothers questioning glances. 

He didn’t have time to think of Andrew or the consequences of what he was about to do. He needed to pick an outfit out for Saturday. For his date with Katelyn. 

  
  


**_Scorpios place the highest value on what’s real. They don’t have time for fake. They are the masters of separating fact from fiction._ **

Aaron could tell from the first moment he set eyes on Neil Josten that the boy was going to be trouble. He could tell based on the way he was skittish around everyone and seemed to have a restless amount of energy and no outlet. 

Aaron had caught the boy multiple times coming back to the dorms sweaty, as though he had just ran tens of miles. 

He confronted him about it once. 

“What do you do? Run a marathon every morning?” 

“Yes.” Neil had said easily. 

Aaron didn't trust him. Aaron had been right not to trust him. 

First the eyes, then the hair, then the name. It was all pretend. There was barely anything real about Neil Josten and anyone who believed his act was naive and stupid. 

Aaron expected Nicky to be one of the ones who fell for Neil’s shit. Nicky couldn’t help himself, he loved trying to put together things that seemed broken. What he didn’t expect was Andrew. 

Andrew was supposed to be smarter. At first Aaron blamed the meds, he thought that they were clouding his brother's vision and that unmedicated, Andrew would be able to see the truth. 

But it seemed as though being off the meds just made Andrew and Neil closer, and in turn Andrew and Aaron further apart. 

Aaron hated Neil from the beginning. Aaron hated Neil even more when he decided to get Katelyn involved , and even more as he sat on the stupid couch in Betsy Dobson’s office next to his brother. 

Whatever Neil was planning wasn’t going to work, Aaron would make sure of it. He didn’t need some bullshit excuse of a person interfering in his life, and he wasn’t going to let Neil take Andrew down with him. 

  
  


**_Scorpios do fear vulnerability._ **

Aaron sat on Betsy Dobson’s couch next to his brother. This was going to be their last session together. They were graduating next weekend. Aaron was off to Chicago to start medical school, and Andrew was off to play professional exy in Denver. 

They would be 14 hours and 38 minutes away. This would be the furthest they’ve ever been away from each other since they met. 

Aaron was not the same person he was a few years ago and so he could admit that he was going to have trouble adjusting. Andrew barged into his life and barely gave him room to breathe but Aaron had grown to find comfort in having someone who would always have his back. 

He had planned out what he was going to say during this session with Katelyn the night before. Aaron never expected Katelyn to support anything that involved Andrew but once again she proved him wrong. 

“Graduation next week,” Betsy said. “How are we feeling about it?” 

Graduation marked the end of Aaron and Andrew’s deal. Despite it being technically over a while ago, when Andrew decided to stick with Neil instead and Aaron decided to stick with Katelyn, there was something about graduation that still felt heavy. 

Aaron wasn’t sure Andrew was ever going to talk to him again after this, and Aaron did not like that one bit. He was surprised by this reaction, too. 

The problem was, Andrew was Andrew. He wasn’t going to check in with Aaron like Nicky would. He probably wouldn’t visit more than once a year and he would only do so if Neil asked. Asking Andrew to see him after graduation involved emotion. It involved admitting to Andrew that he needed--no-- _ wanted _ Andrew in his life. 

Aaron wanted his brother in his life, dammit. He wanted to be able to call Andrew without feeling like he was bothering him. He wanted to casually mention that he and Katelyn had a spare room in their new apartment if Andrew was ever playing Chicago’s exy team and didn’t want to stay at a hotel. 

He wanted to sit in the family suite at Andrew’s games and support his brother in his career. He wanted Andrew to be at his medical school graduating with his blank stare and dismissal of everyone who wasn’t Aaron. 

He wanted when he wanted when he first found out he had a brother. He just wanted them to be okay even with the distance between them. 

“How about you Aaron? How do you feel about graduation?” 

Aaron blinked. He had missed what Andrew’s response was. Aaron sighed. It was either say his piece now, or risk never speaking to Andrew again. Vulnerability was not a good look on Aaron, but he thought perhaps the outcome may be in his favor. 

“I’m worried,” Aaron admitted. 

“About graduating?” Betsy asked. 

“No. About what happens after.”

Betsy nodded her head in encouragement. 

“Denver is 14 hours away from Chicago,” Aaron said. He knew that by saying this he was admitting to Andrew that he had looked it up. 

“Ah,” Betsy said knowingly. “Andrew? Any thoughts?” 

Andrew seemed to fiddle with his sleeve before deeply sighing. Aaron held his breath. “It’s only 2 and a half hours by plane, if you’re flying nonstop.” 

Aaron couldn’t breathe. He looked at his brother, wide eyed. Andrew had looked it up too. Aaron hadn’t even considered planes to be an option because he knew Andrew hated flying. But Andrew had looked up flight information. 

“Well,” Betsy said with a small smirk. “That’s good information to know, don’t you think, Aaron?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron choked. “It’s good.” 

Andrew turned his head to stare blankly at Aaron. Aaron couldn’t help the giddiness he felt and hoped it wouldn’t ruin anything. 

Andrew  _ cared _ . Andrew cared  _ about Aaron.  _ He looked up flights. The rest of their session was them talking about how they allowed Nicky to pick their outfits for graduation and how they were both regretting it. Well Aaron was regretting it, Andrew didn’t believe in regret but Aaron could tell that Andrew was not exactly pleased with what Nicky had chosen. 

At the end of their session the two brothers walked out to Andrew’s car. They drove back to the dorms in silence until Aaron broke it while Andrew put the car in park. 

“You’ll call me, won’t you?” 

Andrew stared impassively. “You’ll call  _ me _ , won’t you?” He asked back. 

“I will,” Aaron said confidently. 

“If you call me before noon, I will not pick up.” 

“Okay,” Aaron agreed easily. “12:01pm then.” 

Aaron never knew if it was okay to make jokes with his brother, but he was high off their session and graduation was no longer this looming dark cloud over his head. 

Andrew just shrugged. “12:01pm. Now get out of my car. Send Neil down when you go up.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes and didn’t even care that he had to interact with Neil. Andrew had allowed Aaron this vulnerability and didn’t mock him for it. 

  
They still weren’t ‘okay’ by any typical standards but it was a start. It was a start and Aaron was grateful for it. 


	6. Seth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taureans aren’t careless with their affection. They fall in love one step at a time. They have very strong feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: references to sexual assault but nothing graphic is described

**Seth Gordon- April 21st**

**_Taureans are oriented around the physical world. They tend to be grounded and logical._ **

No one knew, because no one bothered to ask but this is where Seth felt the most calm. His Forest Resources class was held outside today due to the good weather so he was on his knees collecting soil samples from a garden that existed on campus. 

It was breezy, but not annoyingly so. For a moment, Seth was okay. Seth wasn’t thinking about the bullshit practice that he had to endure this morning and he wasn’t thinking about the practice he’d have to endure later this afternoon that would most likely be bullshit. 

The routine of pushing the trowel into the ground and then sealing the sample in the plastic bag was grounding for Seth. Seth liked routine. There wasn’t much of his life that had an implicit routine besides the work he did for his classes. 

Sometimes, Seth wished he only ever had to deal with his classes. That he didn’t have to worry about exy, Allison, or his addiction. That he could just lose himself in nature and focus on helping the Earth heal. 

He thought that perhaps if something as strong as Earth could heal, then so could he. 

**_Taureans don’t respond to criticism. Not even that they negatively react to it, but it’s almost like they are made of cement, and any feedback just bounces right off. They don’t budge._ **

Seth Gordon did not like Kevin Day. He didn’t like his stupid smug face, or the fact that he wasn’t even a member of The Foxes yet he spoke to them like he was their coach.  _ Assistant coach, _ his brain scoffed. 

_ “You rely too much on your right leg.”  _

_ “If you switch your stance you’ll be able to get the ball further across the court.”  _

_ “Your reaction times are too slow.”  _

Seth slammed the ball into the net right past Walker’s large goalie racket making the goal light up red. 

Kevin glared at him. Seth shrugged. 

“Maybe you should focus a little more on being able to hold your racket again, yeah?” 

**_Taureans aren’t careless with their affection. They fall in love one step at a time. They have very strong feelings._ **

The thing with Allison was new. Seth hadn’t been able to stop himself when he saw the younger dealer at an off-campus Friday the other night. If anyone on The Foxes asked, Seth was an asshole. Seth was sure even Allison had called him that once before. But when he saw Allison cornered by some douche twice her size, what was Seth supposed to do? 

Dan and Renee had allowed Seth to stay in their room while Allison puked out all the alcohol she had consumed. Renee eyed him with something Seth didn’t care enough to figure out. He tried not to be hurt by Dan’s surprise that he had brought Allison back to the dorms in one piece. 

Seth knocked on the bathroom door. 

“Come in,” Allison croaked. 

Seth was used to seeing Allison all made up. Her shiny hair was knotted on top of her head and she had mascara running down her face. She had her legs pulled to her chest but Seth didn’t think she looked anything other than her usual confident and beautiful self. 

“Are you alright?” 

Allison laughed and it was not a kind laugh. “You know what? No. I’m really not.” 

“Me neither.” Seth shrugged and sat down on the bathroom floor with his back toward the door. They didn’t talk again. Seth just stayed until Allison felt okay to go to bed. She walked him to the door and then pressed up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Thank you,” Allison said. It was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to him. 

Allison wasn’t always nice. After that night, Seth and Allison grew closer. Skin to skin close. It usually happened in Seth’s bed or sometimes in the lounge of the court. When they were together it was good, it was  _ so good. _ Seth started to believe that maybe  _ this _ was something he could have. 

Seth was in love with Allison. And when they were together their love was powerful. It was all consuming, it was passionate. It was fireworks exploding and jumping into a lake on a hot summer day. 

But Seth had his own demons and Allison had her own as well. Sometimes, they just didn’t work. Their passion didn’t stop when they weren’t together. It just expressed itself in new ways. How far could they push each other? How mad could they make each other before one of them caved? How close could Seth pull this random girl to his body before Allison pushed her off of him? How long would he be able to watch Allison dance with people that weren’t him before he intervened? 

Seth wall always all in or nothing and with Allison it was the same. He was all in, despite the fact that Allison was perched on the arm of the chair the new kid was sitting in. Despite the fact that he knew he didn’t make it easy for her. Despite it all, Seth Gordon was in love with Allison Reynolds.

Seth may not know a lot, but there was one thing he was sure of. His feelings for Allison would never fade out. No, he would love Allison Reynolds until his last breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but it boggles my mind that Seth and Dan are both Taurus'. I can't stop thinking about it


	7. Allison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cancer’s self-awareness is like the tides. They’re constantly moving in and out of focus. Their personality is layered. They have many moods, some of which are contradictory, but they also have a deep, core self that persists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: references to seth's death, allison picks a fight with aaron where domestic abuse is mentioned,

**Allison Reynolds- July 16th**

**_Cancers have learned to hide their pain to avoid burdening anyone else. They pretend they’re okay when they’re not._ **

Allison tried to control her breathing. In and out. In and out. She could get through this. She was Allison Reynolds for fucks sake. 

As she left the safety of her dorm in Fox Tower, of course, she had to run into Neil coming out the elevator. Monster Minyard’s words replayed in her head.  _ If Neil hadn’t opened his mouth, Seth would still be alive.  _

Neil gave her a curious glance as he walked past her, as though he wanted to say something but opted against it at the last minute.  _ Good,  _ Allison thought. If Neil is avoiding her then that means the Monster was on to something. 

Allison got in her car and exhaled. Maybe she was being unfair. Neil wasn’t the one who killed Seth. Riko was. Allison wondered if Andrew told anyone else his theory. Or maybe Neil knew it was true and figured it out himself. Maybe that was why he was keeping his distance. 

She pulled into Abby’s driveway and saw that Wymack’s car was already there. She didn’t really want to face Coach right now but she had nowhere else to go. Allison knew the Monsters didn’t give a fuck about Seth’s death. And realistically, why would they? Seth was nothing but antagonistic toward them, especially Nicky and Kevin. Andrew hated Seth because he was shitty to Nicky and Aaron...well Allison was pretty sure Aaron didn’t have his own opinions and just went with whatever the rest of them were doing. The only ones who were upset were her, Matt, and Dan. Renee wasn’t exactly cool with Seth, she had offered Allison her condolences but Allison could tell it was surface level at most. 

Matt had lost a roommate and Dan had lost a teammate. But what did Allison lose? She lost her person. Her rude, terrible, bad tempered person.

Abby answered the door with a smile as she normally did. Allison put on her best smile and headed in. 

“You’re crashing girls night, Coach,” Allison said as she shed her coat and hooked it on to the rack by the door. Coach was sitting in one of Abby’s arm chairs, nursing a glass of what was probably expensive whiskey. 

“My bad,” He gruffed out but made no effort to move. “How are you?” He added on somewhat awkwardly. Coach had never been one for emotions. 

“Good,” Allison responded. 

“Allison,” Abby admonished. 

This was the problem with grief. People wanted you to grieve a certain way and if you couldn’t do it the way they expected they made you feel bad about it. 

What did they want? Her to cry? Scream? Yell? She had done that already. She had done that when they were out at the club and Seth hadn’t come back from the bathroom in a while. When she decided to find out where the hell he ran off to. When she walked through the sketchy corridor leading to the restrooms and that weird guy in all black knocked into her shoulder. When she barged into the men’s bathroom and found Seth lifeless on the floor. His eyes completely glazed over and his skin sickly pale. 

She screamed. She yelled. She cried. All until the ambulance and police came, all while she watched helplessly as they covered Seth’s body and took him away. 

Allison had no more screams, yells or tears left. 

“I’m good,” Allison said. “Really. I’m hurt and heartbroken but there’s nothing I can do is there? He’s gone and more than half this team is happy about it. Fuck I bet they even celebrated when they got the call. But at the end of the day Seth is gone, and I’m still here.” 

“You’re still here,” Coach agreed. “It’s alright, you know, to miss him.” 

Allison scoffed, “Do  _ you  _ miss him? Your most difficult striker?” 

Coach smiled, “You can’t possibly believe Seth was more difficult than Kevin or Neil. And yes, Allison, I do miss him. He was one of the firsts. He had a bad fucking attitude and it was going to cost him a lot of good scouts but he was good. He was a good player who could’ve made it pro if he only had a little bit of faith in himself. He was out of line with the others, especially Nicky. But I’ve never seen him care about anything or anyone the way he cared about you.” 

Allison felt choked up suddenly. She knew deep down in her heart that Seth cared for her, that maybe he even loved her, though the two never said the words to one another. But to hear someone else, especially someone like Coach who refused to get into the more personal affairs of The Foxes, confirm their relationship meant a lot to Allison. 

Allison wanted to brush it off. She wanted to roll her eyes or dismiss Coach’s comment entirely. But soon enough she found she couldn’t see Coach anymore. That her vision was blurred by oncoming tears that didn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. 

Apparently Allison did have some tears left after all. She felt Abby’s arms around her. Holding her together like she had the night it happened. 

“It’s not fair,” Allison choked out. “He was doing so well he didn’t deserve this.” 

“We’re Foxes,” Coach said. “Nothing will ever be fair.” 

And wasn’t that the fucking truth. Seth didn’t deserve to die. Allison didn’t deserve to have to deal with this gaping hole in her chest. Neil didn’t deserve to get blamed for the whole thing. And yet. Seth was dead. Allison wasn’t sure she’d ever be okay again. Neil was going to feel Allison’s cold shoulder until she could work out a way to forgive him. 

No, life was not fair for a Fox. It was not fair at all. 

  
  


**_Cancer’s self-awareness is like the tides. They’re constantly moving in and out of focus. Their personality is layered. They have many moods, some of which are contradictory, but they also have a deep, core self that persists._ **

Allison knew that it was in the best intentions of her safety to not approach the boy sitting alone at one of the student lounges on campus. 

She held her head high, her ponytail accentuating her cheekbones from how tight it’s pulled back and walked in a straight line to the lonely table. She slapped her bookbag on the surface, causing the other occupant to jump. 

“Want some company?” Allison asked, voice filled with bitterness. 

Aaron Minyard scowled at her. His eyes darted around the rest of the lounge. 

“Andrew is not here to protect you this time,” Allison said. 

“Nice bruises,” Aaron shot back. Allison’s ponytail also gave everyone a clear view of fingerprints around her throat, courtesy of Monster Number One. 

Allison hummed. She was over it. Andrew was Andrew and it would just give her a headache to try and figure him out, though she had her suspicions most of his aggression was due to the fact that Aaron seemed to be incapable of fighting for himself. Also she overhead what Neil had said to him. 

About their deal. Aaron’s mom. Their deal. The others didn’t know. Well Renee probably knew but that was because Renee was an absolute genius. 

“What you said was out of line,” Allison said calmly. 

“If you’re looking for an apology, it’s not going to happen.” 

“I don’t want your apology,” Allison bit. “You wouldn’t mean it even if you did say you’re sorry. I’m here because I’m giving you a chance. You had some big words before. Fighting words, even. You say them now and you get my reaction without your spawn of Satan shadow.” 

Aaron frowned. “I’m not in the habit of beating women.” 

“No,” Allison agreed. “Women only beat you.” 

Aaron slammed his textbook shut. “You should shut up.” 

“Or what? You’ll tell Andrew on me?” Allison pitched her voice as though she was a stereotypical playground bully taunting the quiet kid. “Been there, done that,” She scoffed. “Take me on yourself. Stand on your own for once.” 

Aaron busied himself packing his things. 

“Running away?” 

“No,” Aaron said. “This. You? Not worth my time. And don’t act like you know anything about me or my family. I much preferred it when you all kept to yourself.” 

Allison let Aaron storm off. She didn’t think he would say anything like he did in the parking lot without knowledge that he had people to back him up. She sat at the table for a while after, satisfied that she seemed to get the last word. 

There was a chance that Aaron would rat her out to Andrew and that this time Renee wouldn’t be there to help her, but hey, Allison would not be herself if she didn’t try and cause a little trouble. 

**_Cancers fall in love easily._ **

It was a good week. Allison laid with her head on Seth’s bare chest while he ran his fingers through her hair, no doubt tangling it up. She found that she didn’t mind as much as she normally would. It was a good week. The sex they just had was not angry or fueld by jealousy. It was, Allison daresay, almost tender. It was soft touches and making sure the other was okay. It was finishing together and like everything Allison had ever seen in the movies. 

This was Allison’s favorite Seth. 

While Allison did enjoy the game they played where they tried to see who could piss the other off first by flirting with other people, she was a true romantic at heart. She much preferred the soft kisses and hand holding than she did the fighting with words. 

Allison lifted her head so that her chin was digging into Seth’s pec. “Tell me something.” 

Seth raised an eyebrow and Allison appreciated that his hand didn’t stop moving in her hair. “My name is Seth Gordon. Number 6 on the Palmetto State Foxes,” He replied monotone. 

Allison used her pointer and thumb to pinch his side. “Be serious, you ass. Tell me something good. Something interesting. That no one else knows.” 

“You just want to know all my secrets.” 

Allison shrugged. So what if she did? She had a very clear perception of who Seth Gordon was. He was a complete and total douchebag. But then that night at the frat party happened and she supposed that perhaps she was too hasty in her judgement. Now, she wanted to know what else Seth was hiding underneath his general commitment to being seen as a dick. 

Seth sighed but eventually indulged Allison. “When I graduate, and have my own place, I want a yard big enough for a garden.” 

“What kind of garden?” 

“I don’t know,” Seth said. “Maybe two or three of them. One could be for vegetables. One for flowers. I like the idea of watching something grow.” 

“Sounds like a lot of responsibility,” Allison commented. “Being responsible for life.” 

“Yeah,” Seth agreed. “I think I’d like that part too. I don’t take care of myself very well, but maybe I could make up for it.” 

Allison wished that this Seth could always stay around. The one that talked about plant life like it was the most important thing in the world. That made plans about the future. 

“How about this,” Allison offered. “You take care of the plants. I’ll take care of you.” 

Allison bit her lip as Seth seemed to ponder her statement. He’d either agree or ruin their good week by fighting about not needing someone. 

“Fine,” Seth said finally. “But I have to warn you, I’m sort of a handful.” 

_ That’s okay. _ Allison thought. She was sort of a handful too. Maybe they could balance each other out. Allison returned her head to its resting position so that the point of her chin was no longer making a dent in Seth’s chest. 

They would be okay, Allison thought. Maybe there was hope for the two of them. They were two kids whose families didn’t really want them but that was okay, because maybe, just maybe they could build a family together. 

* * *

“This could ruin our friendship.” 

“That’s fine,” Allison said easily. “I don’t particularly want to be your friend anymore. I want more than that.” 

Renee blushed at Allison’s words and wasn’t that a beautiful sight. “Allison,” she said. 

“Renee,” Allison replied in the same tone. 

“I don’t know when I’ll be back in the states,” Renee admitted. “I’m only here for the holidays and then I’m doing more work in South America.” 

“I’m a professional exy player that spends more time traveling than I do in my own home,” Allison said. “I have not felt this way in a very long time, Renee. But you make me happy. You’re the first person I want to call after a win and the only person who I want to spend time with. I don’t care how long it takes until we’re in the same city, or even the same country. I want this. I want  _ you, _ ” Allison emphasized. 

Renee brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She was so unlike the Renee that Allison was used to. The one who was calm and fierce and oh so sure of herself. Allison revelled in the thought of other ways she could break through Renee’s core. 

Renee hummed. “I worry about the timing.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Renee’s smile faded. “It’s Seth’s anniversary.” 

Allison froze. She had forgotten. No. Forgotten is too strong a word. She  _ knew _ . She knew in the back of her mind what day it but it didn’t consume her like it used to. It didn’t push her into an empty hole of grief and make her unable to move from her bed. 

“It is,” Allison said. “Seth Gordon was my first love. I’m hoping you’ll be my last.” 

Renee stared wide eyed at Allison. Another crack in the defensive armor. Finally, she laughed and Allison let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“You’re one of a kind, Allison Reynolds,” Renee smirked. “Why don’t we go on a date before we plan the wedding.” 

“What have we been doing this past year?” Allison questioned. Even though Renee had been in another country, the two had stayed in contact since graduating. Texting, commenting on each other’s social media. 

“That was flirting from afar,” Renee said. “Besides. I didn’t know you were serious. But now that I know you are, you should put your exy money to use. Wine and dine me, Allison.” 

Allison smiled, “But not real wine? Just juice.” 

Renee smiled back and it felt like coming home after a long trip away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love allison


	8. Nicky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geminis are not afraid of their emotions, but they’re constantly worried about how they convey them, about their words being misconstrued, about unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: light reference to aaron's home life

**Nicholas Hemmick- May 23rd**

**_Geminis are very intelligent and pick up knowledge quickly. They have an unreserved and childlike curiosity, always asking new questions._ **

Nicky loved the aquarium, he decided. He was unsure about his favorite animal as of right now but the sea lions and penguins were vying for the top spot. 

When his teacher had announced that they were to go on a field trip to the South Carolina Aquarium he wasn’t sure his parents would let him go. It was in Charleston and Nicky had never been anywhere outside of Columbia without his parents. His father sighed deeply when Nicky handed him the information flyer but his mother had shrugged and said, “He’s not going to be the only student who doesn’t go.” 

If there was anything Nicky could count on, it would be the fact that his parents never wanted to be outsiders. They were more equipped at being the ones that turned their noses and those who were a bit different and stirred the community gossip pot. 

So Nicky got to go to the aquarium. He sat next to his friend Adam on the bus and they planned out what animals they wanted to see in what order with the maps given to them by their teacher. They were in the Saltwater Aviary looking at the pelicans when Nicky noticed one of his classmates by herself.

Nicky frowned. Everyone was supposed to have a buddy and stay in pairs. He dragged Adam over to where Tatiana was staring wide eyed at what looked to be a very small turtle. 

“Where’s your buddy?” Nicky asked. 

Tatiana shrugged. “She ditched me to hang out with Amy and Leigh.” 

Nicky uttered a curse under his breath that would have his mother crying. Amy and Leigh were the worst. 

“Well you can hang out with us,” Nicky offered. “We don’t mind, right Adam?” 

“No,” Adam agreed. “But we made a list of the animals we want to see so we have to follow it.” 

Tatiana agreed like it was the most normal request ever. 

“Do you like turtles?” Nicky asked, noticing that she had an info packet about turtles in her hand. 

“Yes,” Tatiana said. “These are diamondback terrapins. Did you know that turtles are illegal in North Carolina and South Dakota?” 

Nicky didn’t know that. “Good thing we’re in South Carolina then.” 

Tatiana nodded seriously. “We should add the gift shop to your list.” 

Adam frowned as though this addition would ruin the whole plan. Nicky quickly butt in, “We can add it at the end. That way we can see all the animals first.” 

Tatiana and Adam agreed and the three continued on through the aquarium. They saw a whole lot of fish, sharks, got to touch some starfish, avoided the sting rays, and split a bag of fish shaped gummies. 

Nicky loved how different all the fish were. Some were bright while others more dull in color. There were fish that were the same size as Nicky himself and others that were smaller than his pinky. The sharks, though predators of the sea, looked sort of nice. Nicky figured they were misunderstood. The starfish felt weird against his hand but the lady in charge of the exhibit knew so much about them. 

Nicky learned that starfish have no brain or blood. They’re actual name is Sea Star not starfish. Nicky corrected himself immediately after learning this. They eat inside out, live up to 35 years, and they can have up to 40 arms. 

When they got to the gift shop Nicky was overwhelmed. How was Nicky supposed to choose what to get? Tatiana did not have the same struggle. She returned to where Nicky was staring at the postcards with different animals on them with a tiny turtle plushie in her hand within ten minutes. 

“What are you going to get?” Tatiana asked. 

Nicky shrugged. The plushie in Tatiana’s hand looked so soft, but he knew his father would highly disapprove if he came home with one. The postcards were cool but sort of boring for Nicky’s taste. Tatiana dragged him to the snowglobes and shot glasses. Nicky laughed at the thought of going back home with a shot glass. 

Eventually Nicky decided on a small enamel pin that just had the name of the aquarium. So that he could remember that he had been here. He also bought a tiny pair of stud earrings that were the shape of Sea Stars. Nicky didn’t have his ears pierced, and he probably wouldn’t until he graduated and moved out but the thought of wearing the earring excited him. It would be quite a while until Nicky was able to leave his family home, afterall he wasn’t even in highschool yet, but the earrings were something for him to look forward to. A goal. 

On the bus ride home Tatiana moved seats so that she would be closer to Nicky and Adam instead of next to the girl who ditched her. 

“What should I name him?” Tatiana asked. 

Nicky hummed. He snapped his fingers when he got it, “Terrance Terrapin The Third.” 

Tatiana laughed, “That’s pretty good, Nicky.” 

Nicky smiled. He wished he could stay on this bus forever. That he could wander around the aquarium looking at cool animals and learning all about them instead of hiding his curiosity at home. 

“Curiosity killed the cat,” His father would always say. 

_ Sure,  _ Nicky would think.  _ But satisfaction brought it back.  _

**_Geminis are not afraid of their emotions, but they’re constantly worried about how they convey them, about their words being misconstrued, about unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings._ **

Nicky sat at the dinner table by himself and sighed. It was just the first day. He hadn’t expected it to be sunshine and rainbows but he definitely did not anticipate the animosity and apathy. 

He was doing the right thing Nicky reminded himself. If he hadn’t come back then Andrew and Aaron would be at the hands of his parents and had grown enough as a person to understand what a colossal mistake that would be. 

Nicky busied himself with the dishes. Carefully clearing the plate that Aaron had smashed, and Andrew completely clear plate. At least one of the twins appreciated the hard work he put into the dinner. 

After the kitchen was clean and Nicky was positive neither twin was planning to come out of their respective rooms Nicky made his way toward his own bedroom. He left the door creaked open just in case so that he could hear if anything was going on or if maybe one of the twins wanted to talk. He didn’t think that last one was going to happen but he was hopeful about the future. 

Andrew and Aaron would realize that Nicky was just trying to help. Trying to protect them. 

Nicky called Erik when he began to feel too restless. 

“How did it go?” Erik asked, straight to the point. Nicky loved that about him. 

“Not great,” NIcky admitted. “Aaron broke a plate but Andrew ate all the empanadas. Could have gone worse in the long run.” 

“They don’t trust you yet,” Erik said. 

“I’ve known Aaron his whole life,” Nicky argued. 

“And yet you never knew the truth about what was happening in his home,” Erik stated. 

Nicky deflated. It was the truth. Despite actually growing up with Aaron, he hadn’t known how bad it really was for his younger cousin. 

“I don’t say that to upset you,” Erik added. “But you have two teenage boys who have been put through the ringer. You know your intentions are pure but they don’t yet. Give them time.” 

In all honesty, Nicky was afraid. He was terrified he was going to further mess up Andrew and Aaron’s life. He wanted what was best for them, and he selfishly thought it was himself. But Nicky didn’t want Andrew and Aaron to realize his inner turmoil. He needed to be the confident caregiver. 

After getting off the phone with Erik, Nicky felt better, like he normally did after talking to his love from overseas. He went to bed easily and the next morning he found a plain white plate with the tag still attached on the kitchen table. 

“I’m sorry about the plate,” Aaron crept in the kitchen. He seemed nervous to approach Nicky. His heart broke.

Nicky felt like crying but he knew that would absolutely not go over well. Instead he shrugged, “It’s just a plate. Thank you for the replacement, though. Did you hurt your hand?” 

Aaron seemed shocked at Nicky’s concern. “Uh, no. I mean, there’s a few cuts but it’s fine.” 

“Let me take a look,” Nicky offered. Aaron was hesitant but gave his hand to Nicky. He allowed Nicky to disinfect the cuts and bandage it all while wearing a frown on his face. Nicky was careful not to react too strongly to the trust Aaron was given him. He didn’t want to scare his cousin away. At one point Andrew walked in and paused, seeming to monitor Nicky’s movements, possibly making sure that Nicky didn’t further injure Aaron. 

Maybe they weren’t as apathetic as Nicky thought. Again he schooled his face to what he hoped was indifference. When he was finished, Andrew left to his room and Aaron followed to his own room, leaving Nicky by himself.

He sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. This was probably going to be one of the most difficult things Nicky will ever have to do in his life but he wasn’t bothered. He knew he was doing the right thing and he knew that someday, maybe not now or any time in the near future, but Andrew and Aaron would grow to see him as family. 

**_Geminis are driven by a fundamental curiosity about who other people are, and who they might be around them._ **

Germany was a dream. The Klose’s were the family he wished he had but right now he was ever so grateful that he had no blood relation to this family. It would make what he was currently doing very not okay. 

He pulled away from Erik and observed the boy. The club lights were reflecting on his natural blonde hair making it change in tint from red to green to purple to blue to pink and over again. Erik’s hand was resting on Nicky’s shoulder, Nicky’s own hands gripped tightly on Erik’s waist. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Erik leaned down to whisper in Nicky’s ear. 

Nicky shivered. Abso-fuckin-lutely did he want to get out of here. He managed to nod at Erik who then pulled him through the crowd of dancers and club goers out into the Berlin night by his hand. The air felt good on Nicky’s hot skin. The club had been suffocating with people and Nicky finally felt like when he breathed he wasn’t inhaling smoke and sweat. 

Nicky wasn’t sure where they were going. He didn’t think they were headed home just yet. His hand was still in Erik’s and Erik was pulling him so that Nicky had the perfect view of his backside. 

Erik was, in the simplest terms, beautiful. He was strong and confident, and Nicky felt like he could push all his weight both physical and metaphorical onto Erik and he would have no trouble carrying it. 

Nicky was instantly hit with the thought of Erik carrying him. He let go of Erik’s hand and proceeded to jump on the taller boy’s back. 

“Woah, okay--Okay, yeah, this is happening,” Erik laughed as he tried to accommodate Nicky's sudden attack. He gripped under Nicky’s thighs and Nicky rested his chin on Erik’s left shoulder. 

“How are you feeling?” Erik asked. 

“Perfect,” Nicky sighed. 

He felt the most like himself when he was with Erik. Erik loved listening when Nicky got excited, he didn’t shy away from PDA so Nicky was free to hug and kiss Erik as much as he wanted. Nicky loved who could be around Erik. 

Erik allowed him to be unapologetically himself. Erik’s confidence in himself and his sexuality made Nicky confident as well. 

Nicky didn’t want to ever leave Germany. Nicky did not like himself in South Carolina. The people that his parents were, and the person that they wanted him to be? Nicky had outgrown it. He was in Germany, drinking wine with his dinner and going to clubs, he wore shirts that showed off his stomach, and held hands with boys. He laughed and laughed, and he was so fucking happy. 

Nicky was happy, it was something he wasn’t sure he was ever going to be again. Nicky never expected to even make it this far in life but if there was one thing he was it was determined. 

Now that Nicky tasted happiness, he didn’t think there was anything that could make him let it go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved writing nicky's chapter so much <3


	9. Renee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libras are difficult to really understand because they seem so contradictory on the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: brief illusions to the nest and renee's past life

**Renee Walker- September 27th**

**_Libras are difficult to really understand because they seem so contradictory on the surface._ **

Renee could feel Neil’s eyes on her every time she entered a room. She understood, of course. If Renee could sense what was lurking under Neil’s mask then she had no doubt that Neil could sense what was lurking under hers. 

Neil couldn’t figure her out, and that was okay, Renee couldn’t quite figure Neil out either. She had her suspicions, which she related to Andrew. She thought perhaps Neil was like them; foster homes, runaways, violent. 

“Your cross freaks him out,” Andrew said as he wiped the sweat from his head with a towel Renee offered him. 

“Hmm?” Renee asked. 

“The rabbit. The newbie. Neil,” Andrew clarified. 

Renee reflexively put her hand to her necklace. She supposed that made sense. If Neil was questioning her he’d be confused about the religious aspect of it all. Renee wouldn’t explain it to him, not unless he asked of course. She did not have to make sense to others, but she would never deny someone their curiosity. 

“Should I ease his mind?” 

“No,” Andrew said. “I like watching him get twitchy around you.” 

Renee agreed easily. She suspected there was more to it than Andrew was letting on. When she couldn’t feel Neil’s eyes on her, she noticed they were usually on Andrew instead. She also didn’t miss how Andrew looked at Neil when he thought he could get away with it. 

She didn’t like to meddle, though, so she would try her best to convince Neil that she wasn’t a threat from afar. Or, she corrected, that she wasn’t a threat to  _ him _ , anyway. 

Renee was still very much a threat to those who crossed her or the people she cared about. She was trying to be a good person, she was, but she would not hesitate to interfere if she could protect someone who couldn’t protect themselves. 

She liked the advantage her calm demeanor gave her. No one expected to get gutted by the girl with a cross necklace and pink hair. 

Renee couldn’t help that she made Neil uncomfortable. She had tried very hard to keep the darkness that sometimes itched to crawl out deep inside her, but if Neil could sense it regardless, then Renee was probably right in her thought process that they were much more alike than either of them wanted to be. 

Renee offered a few truths to Neil, some of which Andrew had requested she mention. She could tell that Neil’s wariness did not ease immediately, but that was expected. Renee wouldn’t change who she was for the comfort of others, and she thought that perhaps Neil would warm up to her soon enough.

**_The source of Libras’ anger is the tension between what they think life should be like and what it actually is like._ **

Renee was no stranger to the idea that life was not fair. Life was especially more difficult when you were a Fox. And apparently when you were a Raven. 

“Are you sure about this?” Her mother asked when she exited her own car.

“Yes.” 

Renee made sure to lock Andrew’s car before checking her own phone. Jean’s message was bright in the darkness of the night. Stephanie took the lead and headed toward the administrators that were standing outside of what was coined as The Nest. Renee hadn’t asked her mother how she managed to convince Edgar Allen's administration to come from their homes in the middle of the night, and Renee didn’t plan on it. 

She saw this for the miracle that it was. 

There were people, Renee thought, that deserved nothing. The man she had to kill for her own survival, Drake Spear, Neil’s parents, Riko Moriyama. Just to name a few. 

And then there were people whose own crime was being born into the wrong family. People who were a consequence of other people’s shitty actions. People who were given the short stick and told to get over. 

Jean Moreau did not deserve what he got, what he was getting, and what he would continue to get without Renee’s interference. 

She wasn’t sure how the other foxes would take it. Doing this was making a statement. A statement that would have real repercussions and make a lot of people upset. She was worried about Kevin and Neil, mostly, but she was also worried about the other Foxes. They were not nearly as involved in the dark business she was going to bring to their door. She hadn’t asked anyone before coming here, only asked Andrew for his car. 

The rage she felt had been stronger than the need to be polite. Renee was quite comfortable in her anger. She didn’t often express it, instead took it out on the court or during sparring with Andrew. But now standing before the administration, listening to her mother explain the situation? Renee hoped the administrators were smart and would let them by. 

If not, they were going to have a whole new problem to deal with, and it was going to be in the form of Renee’s fist in their faces. 

**_Libras are so attracted to the idea of beauty that they even find beauty in other people’s flaws. They believe everyone is capable of being beautiful._ **

If Renee was asked, and she was honest, she never would have thought she would be here. Not here, in the still alive way, but in the way that she never thought too much about the specifics of her future. All she had known was that she wanted to do good. She wanted to be a good person. 

“Ugh. I’m so pissed.” Allison tossed her exy bag into the hallway of their house instead of putting it in the workout room like Renee always requested. 

“You’ll beat them next time,” Renee assured her. 

Allison’s team had just been brutally beaten by Denver. 

“I forgot how in sync they are. They do this weird mind reading thing from across the court. I didn’t get one goal against Minyard.” 

Renee was pleased that Allison had officially stopped calling Andrew “Monster”. She still had hopes that one day they would be on a first name basis, but she supposed “Minyard” and “Reynolds” was better than “Monster” and “Bitch”. 

Renee watched as Allison made her way into the kitchen and made herself a post-game smoothie. She was aggressively cutting strawberries and putting them into the blender. She was not using a cutting board like Renee hoped she was, instead cutting directly on the kitchen counter. 

“You know we have a cutting board,” Renee mentioned as she made her own way to the kitchen to sit on one of the bar stools.

“I’m too keyed up to think about proper kitchen techniques,” Allison explained. “I forgot how fast Neil was too. How could I forget that?” 

Now that Neil and Andrew were on the same exy team again, The Foxes group chat started to blow up again. Renee mostly observed and tried to play peacemaker when Kevin and Allison got too aggressive. 

“Oh!” Allison exclaimed. “Can you get my phone from my bag? I want to send Kevin a picture of my smoothie and tell him how much  _ his _ smoothie sucked from earlier today.” 

Renee rolled her eyes fondly and went to Allison’s discarded gym bag. When she opened the bag she found everything rolled up and messy. It was very unlike how Allison typically presented herself. 

Being with Allison was both everything and nothing like Renee expected. While the girl exuded elegance and brilliance, she never put stuff away, hardly cleaned up messes, and refused to wash a dish. Renee was grateful for their dishwasher. Renee couldn’t remember if Allison had been like this in college. If she was, Renee hadn’t noticed, probably too occupied with everything that was going on in college. 

Most people would find their partners' lack of contribution to keeping their living space neat annoying. Frustrating even. Renee was not most people. There was something so regal about Allison Reynolds. She often seemed untouchable. So out of Renee’s reach. 

But to find out that Allison Reynolds left dirty spoons in the sink? Left her stinky gym bag in the middle of the hallway? Didn’t think making the bed in the morning was necessary? Cut fruit on the counter because she couldn’t be bothered with a cutting board?

Allison Reynolds was beautifully flawed and Renee was privileged to be able to see her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing renee was so hard!!! she's just such a complex character and i was trying to make her seem super self aware which was very difficult so i'm sorry to any hardcore renee fans if this sort of fell flat :(


	10. Neil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Capricorns need to be the one to fix everything. Responsibility is their natural state. They have a “can do” attitude. They are the martyrs and the champions. They are the guardians and the judges. The team captains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear the first trait came from co-star and when i saw it i was like :O the team captains?? the martyrs??? this is LITERALLY NEIL! 
> 
> warnings: vague references to neils life on the run but its more just like "i used to be on the run and now im not", in the first part neil is in the hospital bc he was stabbed but the stabbing is not described in detail

**Neil Abram Josten- January 19th**

**_Capricorns need to be the one to fix everything. Responsibility is their natural state. They have a “can do” attitude. They are the martyrs and the champions. They are the guardians and the judges. The team captains._ **

When Neil woke up he was in a vibrantly white room. He had sudden flashbacks to the last time he was in a room like this.  _ Baltimore _ . 

But no, that was over a year ago. Neil tried to rattle his brain as to why he was currently in a hospital room. They were in Columbia. It was Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Katelyn, Nicky, Kevin, Matt, and Robin. They were out celebrating their first win as a team without the girls. They were leaving the club, Neil had been graciously given permission to hold Andrew’s hand. 

Neil was ecstatic. It was a good fucking day and an even better night. So why…? 

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _ Fuck. Right. 

Neil remembered now. They had been walking to the car and some douchebags started taunting Kevin. Ravens fans. Neil didn’t understand how people were still fans of the team when they hadn’t won a game in over two seasons. Neil’s pretty sure he said as much. 

When the fans realized they weren’t getting much of a reaction they changed tactics. They zeroed in on Neil’s hand in Andrew’s. Someone jumped forward. There was a knife, but it hadn’t been Andrew’s. No, the knife was going  _ toward _ Andrew and then. Well. 

Neil was in the hospital. Neil cracked open one eye and found his lover, very disheveled, and looking very pissed off in the chair next to his bed. 

“Oh! Good you’re alive,” Andrew said with false cheer. “Now I can kill you myself.” 

Neil coughed. “What happened?” 

Andrew’s face clouded over with disgust. “What happened, he asks,” Andrew mocked. “What happened, Neil, was that you jumped in front of a fucking knife that wasn’t meant for you.” 

“Who was it meant for?” Neil asked innocently, though he already knew the answer. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Andrew said. 

“It does,” Neil disagreed. “Because if it was meant for Nicky, Aaron, Kevin, Robin, Matt, or even Katelyn then I don’t know why you’re surprised I’d try to protect them. If it was meant for  _ you _ then I really don’t know why you’re surprised. As if I have ever given you the impression that I would not protect you if I had the opportunity.” 

“I don’t need or want your protection,” Andrew sneered as Neil expected, but then followed up with, “Not if it costs me you.” 

Neil sighed. They had come so far, but Andrew still didn’t believe his life was worth anything compared to others. Neil could spend hours, days even, trying to convince Andrew of his worth. 

“Sit with me?” Neil asked and scooted over to make room for Andrew on the bed. 

Andrew narrowed his eyes but took his shoes off before getting into the bed with Neil. For the first time, Neil realized that Andrew’s face was a little bruised. One of his eyes had a deep purple ring around it and his upper lip was a bit cut up. 

“Andrew,” Neil started. “I will always put you first. If someone is coming at us, I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure you’re safe first.” 

“What would have happened if it wasn’t a knife?” Andrew asked. “If it were a gun, or if the knife had gone into a more vital place. You say you want to protect me, but you have to know that if something happens to you, while you’re trying to protect me, I will never forgive myself. You say my life is worth something, well guess what. Yours is too and I’m sick of you sacrificing yourself for others.” 

Neil paused in thought for a moment. “I don’t know how to stop protecting people I care about.” 

“You can be a protector without the superhero complex,” Andrew stated. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you parading around the lockerroom to make sure that shitty freshman doesn’t feel as bad about their own scars. Or that you make sure all the Foxes are on the bus before you at away games. I know you care. But you can care without almost killing yourself.” 

“I’ll be more careful,” Neil conceded. “But you can’t ask me not to step in if I think I can stop you from getting hurt. I’ll give you almost anything, Andrew. Anything but that.” 

Andrew sighed as though he was exceptionally done with Neil’s bullshit. Neil smiled at the thought. 

“Okay,” Andrew said finally. Andrew inspected Neil’s face and then asked, “Yes or no?” 

“Yes.”

Andrew kissed him on the lips once and then rearranged himself so that he was using Neil’s good shoulder as his very own pillow. Neil knew better than to comment on it. 

“Text the foxes that you’re up, but don’t let them into the room yet,” Andrew stated. “I want to sleep.” 

Neil laughed. “Of course,” Neil said easily. “I got you.” 

Andrew sighed. “I know you do.” 

**_Capricorns do not want your mess. They admire other people who are self-sufficient, who inspire them in some way._ **

Personally, Neil thought he was  _ crushing _ this whole vice-captain thing. Once he got over the whole “oh god responsibility” aspect he saw this for the opportunity that it was. It was just one more thing that secured Neil’s place on the team. One more thing that proved to Neil that he was real. 

Dan was ecstatic, of course. She loved Neil like a little brother and took no time to convince him to do weekly lunches with just her so they could talk about the team. Neil liked talking to Dan about exy. It was different than talking to Kevin about exy. Dan had the same amount of passion as they did, but the luxury of not needing to play to survive. She got to love the sport on her own terms and Neil found that instead of envy, he was mostly happy for her. 

The other upperclassmen were happy for him as well. Allison and Matt took to teasingly calling him ‘Captain’ any time the opportunity arose even if they weren’t even near the court. Renee would join in as well sometimes and it was so out of character for her to participate in team teasing that Neil couldn’t even be made about it. 

Neil’s captainship somehow made Kevin think he was also captain by proxy. He tried to persuade Neil to add certain drills to practices and Neil only conceded to one out of every five suggestions. He liked to keep Kevin’s attention and giving in seemed too easy even if he admitted, privately, that most of Kevin’s suggestions could actually be useful for the team. 

Being captain did not change anything with Nicky or Aaron. Nicky loved Neil captain or not. Aaron just did not care about Neil, period. 

Andrew probably found the whole thing inconvenient. If Andrew thought Neil was a junkie before, Neil was sure Andrew was slowly losing his mind with the increase in exy talk. Not that he would ever say anything. Andrew had a very specific way that he got Neil to shut up when he grew too bored with the conversation. It involved a lot of kissing. 

Being vice-captain for The Foxes felt more natural than Neil expected. It also forced Neil to look at his teammates as players rather than friends. 

He began to notice some things that he definitely had noticed before but never paid enough attention too. He knew Andrew was a good player. No, that Andrew was a  _ great _ player. But he always had looked at Andrew playing in a more admirable way. Now, he looked at Andrew analytically. The results were still the same. Andrew was amazing, and Neil really hoped he decided to go pro after graduation. But seeing Andrew’s blocks as statistics and comparing them to other goalies in the league? Hell, even comparing him to Renee? 

Neil got chills just thinking about it. There was quite literally no one who was on the same level as Andrew Minyard. 

His other teammates were just as interesting. Through stats and old clips of games he noticed that while Nicky and Aaron weren’t the best players, they played significantly better when they were on the court together  _ and _ if Andrew was on the court. It was like there was this invisible family instinct. Like Aaron and Nicky worked harder to make sure Andrew didn’t have to do more than necessary. 

It was the same with Allison and Renee. Both their stats increased significantly when they were playing at the same time. Neil wasn’t sure what this meant for the girls though. 

It was nice to realize that as vice-captain his Foxes didn’t need any work. He didn’t need to waste his time on trying to improve their game. His Foxes had little quirks that he was starting to notice and he would relay that information to Wymack so that he could put people on at the right times during games. 

Wymack wanted to test out the new freshman goalie? Fine. But he needed to make sure at least Kevin, Matt, and Dan were on the court because Nicky and Aaron weren’t going to do shit if the goalie wasn’t Andrew. 

The Foxes didn’t need to be coddled and helped like the new freshman did. Neil would work drills with them until he felt like his brain was going to explode and then he’d switch with Dan and work drills with everyone else. Though, it wasn’t really work. The Foxes were reliable. Neil didn’t have to worry about him not clicking with any of them. 

Neil was sure that at some point he would have to pay more attention to the freshman, after all he would have one year with just newbies and none of his family, but for now he would take solace in only being a vice-captain and being able to lean on the efficiency of The Foxes. 

**_They might not express their affections overtly, but Capricorns are quite sentimental. They value family, tradition, and stability. They want to take life seriously. They want to build something real._ **

Neil Josten turned his key into the lock of his home. As he stepped through the door he was hit with the intense smell of something baking. 

“Honey! I’m home!” He cheerily crowed to break the silence that covered the home. As he predicted, seconds later a small butter knife went straight into the wall next to his head. 

Neil tsked. “You missed. I thought I taught you better than that.” 

Teaching Andrew how to throw knives was an experience for the both of them. For Neil, it was facing his fear and learning to associate the dangerous pastime with someone who would never intentionally cause him harm. For Andrew, it was trusting that Neil would actually speak up if he didn’t feel comfortable around the knives. 

“You were a terrible teacher,” Andrew grumbled as Neil made his way to his side where he was looking at something rising in the oven. 

“What are you baking?” Neil smiled. 

“Nothing for you,” Andrew said, not so sweetly. He stood up and turned away from the oven where he pulled Neil in by his shirt and kissed him on the lips. 

Hello and goodbye kisses were no longer something they needed to ask “yes or no” for. Neil followed Andrew’s mouth as Andrew pulled away hoping to get a few more in. 

“Greedy,” Andrew chastised but allowed Neil exactly three more kisses before pushing his face away. “How was work?” 

“You want to know about my day?” Neil asked. 

“Aren’t we being domestic?” Andrew replied, bored. 

Neil smiled and spoke animatedly about his day. Both Neil and Andrew were long retired from exy. Andrew now spent his time cooking and baking and entering his dishes into local competitions. He had four first place ribbons, much to the dismay of the middle aged contestants who have been in the game a lot longer. Neil couldn’t completely give up exy. He was the coach at the youth center in town. Kevin had tried coaching kids after his own retirement but realized his coaching methods were much too aggressive and instead now helped coach the olympic team with Jeremy Knox. Neil took on coaching kids because he wanted to shove it in Kevin’s face that he was great with kids. 

All the while Neil talked about his day, Andrew listened with his full focus. He made comments here and there about kids that Neil had spoken about before. Neil was hoping that one day he’d convince Andrew to come visit the center and play a game but Andrew had refused every time Neil asked. There was a young girl who could shut down the goal just like Andrew used to and Neil desperately wanted Andrew to see her in action. 

“Oh, you got mail,” Andrew nodded his head toward the small table they had by the front door. It was home to a tiny dish for keys and piling mail. On the very top there was a bright orange envelope with Coach Wymack’s return address. Neil used his keys to cut open the envelope. Dozens of mini polaroids fell out, along with one single sheet of paper. 

_ Josten,  _

_ Lounge is getting renovations. Thought you might want to keep these safe until they can get hung back up.  _

_ -Coach _

Wymack had always been a man of few words. 

“Wymack sent the photos from the lounge,” Neil explained even though Andrew hadn’t asked. 

“No room,” Andrew replied. 

“I’ll make room,” Neil said determinedly. 

Neil headed toward their spare room. Neil called it the spare room because that’s what it technically was. Andrew liked to call it “the study” because he thought it sounded sophisticated. The room had a large couch that took up one entire wall, a television with various gaming consoles, a coffee table that had three unwashed mugs currently on it, a tiny space heater because Andrew always got cold, a giant shelf that had books (arranged in some order that Andrew knew by heart but Neil couldn’t figure out) and random tchotchkes from over the years, and a cat tower in one of the corners. 

But most importantly, was the wall with the window. Neil had chosen this wall because it was the biggest wall and therefore had the most room. With Matt’s help, they had boarded the wall completely with cork material. Allowing Neil to fill it to the brim with photographs, movie stubs, menus of restaurants that he and Andrew had gone to and enjoyed, Aaron and Katelyn’s wedding invitation, and anything else that Neil wanted to remember. 

Andrew was right, there was practically no room. Neil was trying to convince Andrew to let him have another wall to decorate but Andrew argued that one was enough. 

Neil didn’t think so. He didn’t think one person could ever have enough room to keep memories. For so long Neil had to downsize. Could only keep what he could carry. Now that he had a home, a real home, he wanted to keep everything. Sometimes Andrew called him a hoarder. Neil was okay with that. He’d rather hoard memories and mementos than be forced to choose which ones he got to keep. 

Neil held up the polaroids and tried to envision them on the already crowded wall. He heard Andrew come into the room. He stood next to Neil and checked his hip with his own. 

Andrew sighed, very dramatically. “You can have another half of a wall.” 

Neil smirked. “You love me.” 

Andrew sighed, again. “Yeah.” 

Neil placed the photos on the coffee table and jumped on the couch. He patted the spot next to him and Andrew made a big show of rolling his eyes before following Neil. Andrew sat with his head resting on Neil’s shoulder. 

“You’ve grown sentimental in your old age,” Andrew said. 

Neil scoffed. “You’re older than me.” 

“By three months. Barely that,” Andrew reasoned. 

Neil settled himself further into the couch, bringing Andrew with him. “Did you ever think we’d be here? Being old and having cats and a home? Together?” 

“No,” Andrew said honestly. “Did you?” 

“No way,” Neil said. “I hoped though. That this could be a reality for me.” 

Andrew nestled himself into Neil’s space. “I’m happy I get to have this with you.” 

While Neil and Andrew had grown to be more comfortable in expressing their emotions, it still caught Neil off guard when Andrew was this open with him. 

“I’m happy too,” Neil said. 

And he was. Neil Josten, real boy turned real man. He had a family, and a home. He had a man who loved him, cats who adored him, and friends who he would cross the world for. He had everything he was always convinced he would never deserve. 

Neil was real and there was no going back to the fragile strings of a life he used to hold on to. But that was okay, because Neil much preferred the life he had now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> [say hi on twitter](https://twitter.com/bazerella)
> 
> drop ur signs in the comments! <3


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